Game reports.

You can write the director a report about anything related to the game, an it'll go up here. Is your annonymous persona rampaging around Tokyo in frustration at not having the manual dexterity to craft a sculpture out of pixies? Let us know and we'll mention it!

Dates of reports are the date I put them on the site, not the date they happened. (It is hard to ascertain the latter in most cases.)


24/11/08: The game starts...


The director reports:

The game is afoot!

Here are some stats about the game so far:


25/11/08: The director offered a bonus task!


The director reports:

I figured we could spruce up the homepage a bit with a nice title graphic. Given the statistical data we have so far, it seems logical to me that the logo should be a PINK DRAGON - a true marriage of good and evil. As such, I quickly whipped together a picture to use as the logo last night at 1am.

The challenge, should you choose to accept it, is to colour in this artwork. The dragon must be primarilly pink, preferably pastel pink, the rest can be any colour. The one I like best will be used as the main logo.

For those who are really serious about this kind of stuff, the image here is presented in a very large format so you can do lots of funky detailing if you so choose. it is fine to clean up the image or alter it in any way you like (for example, you can completely replace the speech bubble.) At the end of the day, I'll be resampling the image to 760 pixels wide, ensuring that there is about as much whitepace (proportionally) as there currently is.

This task closes at the end (midnight) of Wednesday. You don't have to be playing the game to take part. Enjoy!


1: 28/11/08: Samovar gave Joey Anrep a technodragon


Samovar reports:

Here is my report

The director reports:

I have been presented with a photograph of this present, which you can find here


2: 28/11/08: Samovar gave Michael Conterio visions of the future.


Samovar reports:

I have made Michael a Futurescope (cardboard) virtual reality headset though which he will be able to view a full-colur vision of Cambridge in the Future! It appears that as well as the expected personal jetpacks and flying cars, there has been a bit of a climate change problem, and the Backs are also now covered in giant snails.

Here are two images of the device.

Michael reports:

I have received my first vision of the future, via a wonderful piece of technology known as a futuroscope. Using this, I have glimpsed upon the fate of Cambridge in years to come. Whilst I'm very glad that the long-promised personal jetpacks do finally materialise, I was greatly concerned by the presence of mutant snails, marring the wonderful backs! I shall therefore endeavour in the future to carry around with me large quantities of salt, which will not only help against the mutant snails, but will also help if triffids arrive in the meantime.

Thanks very much Samovar!


05/12/08: Arbitroid began going through a dangerous phase


Arbitroid reports:

Arbitroid is spending way too much time with his gifts.
Today, he was afraid of running out of paper.
He has decided that it's of no relevance whether things prove to be perfectly balanced or not at all.
Tomorrow he's going to improvise!

Arbitroid reported later:

Arbitroid also included dragons in a gift that didn't specifically request the presence of any.

The director reports:

Uh oh...


3: 08/12/08: Chainmail Charlie got a little overexcited over Ellie Schlappa.


Chainmail Charlie reports:

Dear Director,

Recently I sent a LASER BEE to one Ellie Schlappa. Unfortunately I was so enthusiastic about handing over the gift that I failed to photograph it, but I have drawn this representation in MS Paint.

Ellie reports:

Hello! I should have sent this earlier. I have received a LASER BEE! It is knitted and has an actual laser in its tail and is MADE ENTIRELY OF AWESOME! :D

I am far, far too gleeful over this.


10/12/08: The Director RAGES.


Well, it looks like nobody wanted to colour in my dragon, so you get my garishly pink dragon as your logo. HAH!

If you want to submit an alternative, send it along, and I'll make the front page pick randomly (I can do that!)


4: 11/12/08: Narkomine Nolth killed a hippo for Rosemary Warner.


Narkomine Nolth reports:

To Rosie who wanted something with Hippos i sent a CD with a stop motion animation on with a film called "Pink is evil" About a tinfoilgirl with a pink cloak who killes hippos, watercolourblood for the win! I shall attach a picture of it, also i sent the dead larpsafe Hippo along, its a hippo made from tissues and ducktape with blood on it, it wasnt a good actor, so it was killed first.

Rosie reports:

Dear Director,

As already stated by Narkomine Nolth, yesterday I received a dead duct-tape hippo and a video of its BRUTAL AND SENSELESS MURDER.

The video totally rocks, and particular kudos for not only using one of my favourite tracks (Apocalyptica's Kaamos) but syncing the discordant bit with the murder scene so brilliantly.

*much love all round*
Rosemary

The Director reports:

You can now all enjoy the wonders of this short film due to the miracle of YouTube.


5: 11/12/08: The Baron von Baron von Wenge sent Jennifer Johnson a thing that you can put things in.


Jen reports:

Hello Mr Director

I would like to report that I have recieved a beautifully knitted decorative pouch in lovely yarn from the Baron von Baron von Wenge. It most admirably meets with my approval in the paradigm of things-to-put-other-things-into. :D
Thankyou!

Jennifer

The Baron von Baron von Wenge reports:

Director

I was informed of my targets not too many weeks ago, and after... conversing with my associates, a search was launched! Items were procured! Blueprints were made! And lo, a deep sea flower was created for Jennifer, of the sort that one would only find on expeditions to the bottom of the ocean, such as the time I so charmed the second daughter of the Earl of Bedfordshire by persuading her to accompany me on a diving expedition in Malta...

...but that is a tale for another time. There would be a photograph of the item, but my manservant has been delaying over developing it - it will be sent once he has finished his esoteric preparations.

Baron von Baron von Wenge


6: 11/12/08: Narkomine Nolth brought back the sea for Charlotte Heron.


Narkomine Nolth reports:

To Lottie who wanted the sea i wanted to give instant sea but there was no way without the vast collection of maritime stuff i have at home, therefore i painted a cup (guess whats on it!), i have no pivture and no thrilling tale of the creation, but i think it looked quite nice and its actually useful.

Lottie reports:

Hello.

I would like to report receiving a present! Yesterday I got a parcel in the post, inside was a most excellent mug, but unfortunately Royal Mail seems to have mistreated it somewhat, and it arrived looking like this. After lots of super glue and stuck fingers, I have managed to put it back together and it now looks like this Almost as good as new! I especially like the octopus, they are my favourite. Thank you very much ! :D

The director comments:

I'll get you next time Royal Mail! NEXT TIME!


7: 11/12/08: Narkomine Nolth sealed the deal with Jon Ward.


Narkomine Nolth reports:

To Nyar i sent a seal and wax, the seal shows an aubergine with tentacles, which hopefully satisfies overambitiously the wish as well as the "failing that". I have not thought of taking pictures of that... But I have a funny story instead:

I tested it, as i didn't want to use the wax and didnt happen to have any other wax device in my room i went to the kitchen with a little red ice spoon, melted it in the cooker and pressed the seal in, it got stuck and broke it a bit, i repaired it and put some colour on to fix it and make it less rough, hoping less things would then stick to it, then i went to the kitchen again this time melting bits of an oil pastel, it got stuck again, therefore its now a bit dirty and looks like someone pooped on it and the target doesnt like brown...

Well then i tried Art eraser, to remove the brown, it proved to be a fair test that the seal would look quite cool...

Jon reports:

Received seal+wax+story from Narkomine Nolth STOP 
It is made of awesome STOP 
Photographs to follow STOP 
Require matches to demonstrate STOP

8: 18/12/08: David Birch recieved a suspicious white envelope..


David reports:

At lunchtime today I was subtly passed a plain white envelope by one of my suitors. (They elected not to use a pseudonym, for I am in the unfortunate position of knowing who they are anyway.) - The outside was labelled "The Giraffe Report" and inside I found a dossier containing the memos that were sent around the universal creature design office during giraffe week.

I'm afraid the contents are highly classified, so I won't go into any more detail for fear of my life. At the moment I've hidden the dossier inside a pile of similar product design documents on my desk at work.

Rosemary Warner reports:

Dear Director,

Today I gave, er, you a present! It was the original exchange of notes that revealed the imperial/metric error that caused giraffes to look like they do. But you know that too, because I sent it :P

This is actually a pretty pointless report, isn't it. Anyway, happy Christmas!

Love, Rosemary


9: 19/12/08: Emperor What's-his-name the Forgettable III sent Elizabeth Schlappa a very lonely mushroom.


EWhntFIII reports:

What'll happen next?

Ellie reports:

Hello! The other day I received a very nicely shaded picture of a lonely mushroom. :) It is cute. I would take a photo but my camera is on the blink : (


10: 20/12/08: Hopscotch sent Michelle Taylor a painting.


Hopscotch reports:

To Michelle Taylor, who wanted "a card game with added dragons" I did a painting, which I embarked on before I remembered that I cannot actually paint that well. Sorry. Anyway, here is a picture of a card game, with dragons.

Chess reports:

One beautiful painting of dragons playing cards, now sitting proudly on my bookshelf.

Attached are lame camera-phone pictures of the Exciting Parcel! and the Fantastic Contents!.

(yay, dragons.)


11: 20/12/08: Emperor What's-his-name the Forgettable III sent Lupie a death-ray.


EWhntFIII reports:

I have managed to send Lupie a wonderful pair of pictures illustrating exatly how to do death rays properly. I hope she enjoys them as much as I did.


12: 21/12/08: Lenomi sent Rosemary Warner a hippo.


Rosie reports:

Dear Director,

Today via complex methods involving passing between at least two intermediaries, I received a blue hippo made from a bath sponge. I thought I'd take it with me into the bath for it to revisit its natural habitat:

Innit adorable :D

The Director reports:

He eats twixes.


13: 22/12/08: Hopscotch sent Helen Cousins (Naath) a very stuffed dragon.


Hopscotch reports:

To Naath, who asked for "dragons and/or something soft-and-cuddly" I sent a bean-bag dragon.

Naath reports:

Review! I received today a small bean-stuffed dragon in green and red felt; it is very cute but came anonymously so I can't tell you which pseudonym it came from.


14: 22/12/08: Spamhead sent Charlotte Heron some more of the sea.


Lotte reports:

Dear Director...

I arrived at parents' house yesterday to find a parcel awaiting me... I opened it to find a flannel of the sea! The red octopus has made a second apperance which has made me doubly happy.

Thank you very much!
Lottie

Spamhead reports:

Today I (Spamhead) finally sent out my gifts. To Charlotte, who requested the sea, I sent a face flannel with Stuff appliqued onto it. Sorry it's coming late!


15: 22/12/08: Schroedinger's Fractal sent Joey Anrep a surprising dragon.


Schroedinger's Fractal reports:

Directormajig,
Requests done!

Havealookifyouwant.
You might notice a unifying theme...

...dawg.


16: 23/12/08: Schroedinger's Fractal sent Isobel Hooper some tasty tasty heresy.


Isobel reports:

On the 19th of December I received an envelope marked "Please do not bend" from Schroedinger's Fractal. Inside was several ounces of finest HERESY. Or possibly blasphemy, I'm not sure which a picture of one of the Maelstrom gods counts as. In any case, it is wonderful.

The Director reports:

I suppose this would only make sense to someone who played Maelstrom.


17: 23/12/08: Schroedinger's Fractal sent Nora Molkenthin a magic wand.


Nora reports:

I got a present from Schrödingers fractal, it's a comic about a magic wand (which really works) and an elephant, which is cool 'cos I happen to be an elephant as well, so i can identify :) i will take a picture once i find my camera, promise!

Nora

Schroedinger's Fractal reports:

Here it is.


18: 31/12/08: Scaramouche sent Captain Baguette a call to arms.


Scaramouche reports:

Davoul has been sent a super hero mask belonging to 'Captain Baguette', along with a letter asking him to come out of retirement to thwart the latest plan by The League of Underhanded Villains.

David Mumford reports:

Double rejoice!

I (Well, Prof. Davoul Mumford) received a letter today off my old compadr'e Scaramouche (of Danger Island), warning me of the returned devilish acts of the Society of Underhanded Villains. It also bore the sad news that my assistant Robobread had been destroyed in combat, and urged me to re-take my mantle as Captain Baguette, Righteous Protector of Bakery-Goods.

Included was my (not-so) old leather Captain Baguette mask. It is awesomes.


19: 31/12/08: Kakatal the Mighty summoned David Mumford a comic.


David Mumford reports:

Director!

After returning to my home after Christmas Holidays, I belatedly received a wonderful comic about Captain Obvious, his pet Robot, and a Baguette, using all my keyword thingies! Rejoice! Unfortunately, I can't seem to find any proof of a name, and thus must assume it came from Anonymous, the Internet Hate Machine! Whoever made it, it is awesomes :)

Kakatal the Mighty reports:

I have for David Elliot Mumford, in an addressed envelope but not yet stamped and sent (lack of stamps is woe), one comic featuring Captain Obvious and his robot Blinky, with some bonus DnD notes on the back. These are not at all because I didn't check whether blank paper was blank on both sides before I started drawing, honest.


20: 31/12/08: Spamhead sent Michelle Taylor a card game.


Spamhead reports:

Exercising my severely limited artistic skills, I sent Chess a drawing of a card game with added (anthropomorphised) dragons.

Chess reports:

I have received a very nice A4 pencil drawing of some dragons, who are playing cards. Possibly some kind of hilarious strip poker kind of cards, which it appears the boy dragons have rigged in order to make the girl dragon take off her clothes... It comes with no further identifying features and I'm too lazy to locate my phone right now to take a picture of it, but I'm sure you'll work it out.


21: 31/12/08: Spamhead sent Josephine Tatiana Anrep another surprising dragon.


Spamhead reports:

Again with the dubious skills, Joey has been sent a drawing of a surprising dragon.


BONUS: 31/12/08: Samovar corrected a flaw in the space-time continuity flow.


Samovar reports:

Dear Director

I have also finally delivered a fourth gift for Socks and Puppets. Last socks and puppets game, Bryony Baines asked me for a Space Station. Due to an poorly understood and slightly tenuous series of events involving antimatter, a ritual circle and some technobabble about special relativity, immediately on completion of the gift, the skeleton crew of said space station triggered an unlikely plot arc in which they were thrust forward into the future, interestingly arriving back in normal space only today, in a burst of tachyons and hammy acting.I can accept no responsibility for the consequences of this four-dimensional teleportation experience nor any phenomena which may later result from it, including flashback episodes. I only hope that it will not happen again... the crew assure me that the spacetime rift has now been healed and those strange grey lines some of them are developing on their skin are totally harmless.

Here is a picture

Samovar

The Director reports:

Those strange grey lines are probably very harmful...


22: 31/12/08: Kakatal the Mighty send Bryony Baines something weird and suspicious


Kakatal the Mighty reports:

The package bears the legend:

"But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread Lightly because you tread on my Dreams."

"(...the sky goes on and on for you and me...)"

23: 31/12/08: The Baron von Baron von Wenge sent Jon Ward his latest experimenta monstrosity.


The Baron von Baron von Wenge reports:

Director

A second target, this one more difficult. When life asks you for a particular vegetable, do you make aubergine-ade? Of course not, for though the men and women of the Royal Mail are valiant, indeed eager to help - I particularly recall a young chap whose life as a postman was only a cover for his work as a double-agent for the King of Spain, discovering the improprieties of the local clergy... but that is not relevant at this time.

In any case, since aubergine-ade is difficult to send through the post, I worked with my associates to create a delightful plaything that combined both aubergine (as requested) and tentacles (the alternative request), and one of my many associates conveyed it to the target, unfortunately letting on who it was who it had come from. The associate reported that the accompanying meal at Wagamama was delicious; I suspect the associate was thinking more of her stomach and less of her duty.

Once again, my manservant is muttering something about "Christmas preparations" as an excuse for not yet having developed the photograph. He promises me it will be ready soon.

Baron von Baron von Wenge


24: 31/12/08: Chainmail Charlie gave Isobel Hooper some tasty tasty heresy. Tasty!


Chainmail Charlie reports:

Dear Director

Three of your earth minutes ago, I dropped my final present through the door of Isobel Hooper. It is a pictorial guide to some of the weirder bits of Leviticus, with heretical collage attachments.

Love,
Chainmail Charlie

Isobel reports:

Today Chainmail Charlie sent me a pictoral guide to some of the weird stuff in Leviticus, with bonus collage and diagrams and a little scarf!


25: 31/12/08: Arbitroid sent Bryony Baines another dream.


Arbitroid reports:

I've sent Bryony Baines a dream, but it appears I forgot to slip the note with my regards in the envelope, so it's completely anonymous.

Here is a picture


26: 31/12/08: Arbitroid sent Emma Watts some dungeons and dragons


Arbitroid reports:

I also have some dungeons and dragons (20 and four, respectively)

Here is a picture


27: 31/12/08: Arbitroid sent Nicholas Avenell... something truly awesome..


Arbitroid reports:

After my original plan to write a song that toasts bread proved out to be a bit too complicated, I randomly coughed up something quite similar to This. It's now packed and ready to mail to Nicholas Awenell!

Here is a picture


28: 31/12/08: Scaramouche sent Lupie blueprints. Be afraid.


Scaramouche reports:

Lupie Stephenson has been sent the heavily annotated blueprints for a Death Ray.


29: 31/12/08: Kakatal the Mighty sent Tim Baker a mobile.


Kakatal the Mighty reports:

It is LARPy, and also a mobile. (may require some assembly, offer void where prohibited, incorrect attachments may lead to EARLY MORNING SNEAK ATTACKS)

Tim reports:

I have recieved a LARP-mobile, with a series of pictures of fine moments in games over the last year.


30: 31/12/08: Hopskotch sent Emma Watts an interesting take on Dungeons and Dragons.


Hopskotch reports:

To Emma Watts, who asked for "dungeons and dragons", I had to think out-of-the-box a little ... Therefore I made... dragons in dungeons! Complete with gimp dragon and mistress dragon. I hope they survived the post ok. Picture here.


31: 31/12/08: Emperor What's-his-name the Forgettable III sent Michael Conterio some visions of the future.


EWhntFIII reports:

I order my slaves to scour the land for visionaries, each of them to me must give a sketch of the future or be excecuted. And do it within the half hour time limit!

Well, One of these will probably happen sometime


32: 31/12/08: Samovar sent John Frangen a useful doohicky.


Samovar reports:

I was asked to make a gift for John Franglen, who was very vague, but wanted something he could use in a flat in London.I made Mr Franglen a "Milkman's Wallet" magic trick/document folder, with a small pocket on the outside suitable for carrying an oyster card.Hope he likes it!


33: 31/12/08: Wotanutternutter sent Bryony Baines a dream catcher.


Wotanutternutter reports:

To Ms Bryony As I was unable to give her a dream (mine are a bit random and I'm sure she wouldn't have wanted one of those....) I hath gifted her a dream catcher so that she can catch the good ones to watch on repeat.


34: 31/12/08: Wotanutternutter sent Zebbie a handy dice bag.


Wotanutternutter reports:

To Ms Jennifer I have made a dice bag of bright colours. If she doesn't have any dice to put in it I'm sure she will find it useful for holding other things.


35: 31/12/08: e_to_the_i_pi sent Mika Metsätähti a bookmark.


The Director reports:

Today I learnt that postage of a package to Finland costs less than a pound. How awesome is that?

Mika reports:

I also just found out that I had also received a very red fey dragon cut out of foam cardboard! He's holding a card marked Socks and Puppets Christmas 2008. He seems like a good messenger fellow, bestowed with a suitable draconic temper!


36: 31/12/08: 'Elizabeth' sent Mika Metsätähti a pink dragon.


Mika reports:

Dear director

Just in time before 2009, I got not only a beautiful (and curiously pink) fey dragon, but also a three panel comic of it's exciting Christmas Day!


37: 26/01/09: Scaramouche sent Mika Metsätähti a n in-joke he wouldn't get.


Scaramouche reports:

He was made just after Christmas, but none of the names chosen for him seemed to fit. Realising that he was called Edgar, I sent him to Finland in a polka-dot box.

The Director reports:

Hahahahaha, very funny.

Mika reports:

I'd just like to inform that I have received an Edgar. He's lying around my room and staring me intently. He's very nice.


38: 26/01/09: The Grand Vizier Audmentus von Brizenberg sent Tim Baker a poster.


Tim reports:

Also, a poster with pictures of many birds welcoming the morning in loud voices! (my description here could do nothing close to justice to the lovely artwork).


39: 26/01/09: The Grand Vizier Audmentus von Brizenberg sent Nora Molkenthin a poster of the world's most useless invention.


Nora reports:

One fine Friday, when I was going to go home from a fun interactive I found a totally useless invention drawn nicely on a big piece of paper, it can make Lemons out of question marks, although thinking about it this could prevent famines and therefore not be useless at all... either way, i liked it.

Here is a picture


40: 26/01/09: Lenomi sent Nora Molkenthin a wand that really does magic.


Nora reports:

Another fine Friday I was given a pink box from Lenomi with a very shiny magic wand that can also be used as ice cream spoon and straw, unfortunately Kiki nicked it and uses it as a surgeons tool now and so i dont know if i want to eat with it and more... This is very very awesome and I like the fact that it can be used in so many different cool ways.

Here is a picture


41: 26/01/09: Three Eyed Crow sent Elizabeth Schlappa a LASER BEE


Samovar reports:

Here is a picture


42: 26/01/09: Three Eyed Crow sent Charlotte Heron a silk monster.


Lottie reports:

I have received my final present! It is simply amazing - a silk scarf with a sea monster :D I used to silk paint but I could never make anything as good as this - so thank you!

Three Eyed Crow reports:

SEA MONSTER RAAARRRRRRR


43: 26/01/09: Three Eyed Crow sent Nicholas Avernell a burnt toaster. Oh the irony.


Three Eyed Crow reports:

OH WAIT

Here is the report for Aquarion's present :-)


9b: 19/12/08: Emperor What's-his-name the Forgettable III sent Elizabeth Schlappa a very lonely mushroom, a laser bee, and a poem about some malicious yarn.


EWhntFIII reports:

I wasn't sure which of Ellie's gifts she most wanted, so I covered all the bases.


The last update was on the 31st January.
The director believes that something like 46+1/60+1 presents have been sent.
Twelve of the players have reported sending all their gifts.
Three players have yet to email the director.