Game reports.

You can write the director a report about anything related to the game, an it'll go up here. Is your annonymous persona rampaging around Tokyo in frustration at not having the manual dexterity to craft a sculpture out of pixies? Let us know and we'll mention it!

Dates of reports are the date I put them on the site, not the date they happened. (It is hard to ascertain the latter in most cases.)

In general, I'll put up a report as soon as I get it, so that I don't forget later.

01/07/09: Silence Descends...

The director reports:

The dragon of destiny has made his decisions, and the targets have been assigned. Only one month stands between this day of reckoning and the inevitable crushing destruction of the planet. Only by uniting the world through the joy of present-giving can our fair Mother Earth be saved, and twenty-two plucky heroes have taken on the mantle of our saviours. Will they succeed? Only time will tell.

1: 01/07/09: Networker regaled Meghan Williams with poetry.

The director reports:

At the request of a player, I have passed a poem 'The Monster from under my bed' onto Miss Williams. (The gods mentionned within this poem are current to the Cambridge University Treasure Trap setting, for those who're interested.)

Megan reports:

Yesterday I received from Networker a really rather nifty poem which featured not only the under-the-bed variety of monster but also the lesser known Sock Drawer Monster! It was fantastic!

2: 02/07/09: A Pink Dragon sent (redacted) a combination of cute and tasty. (You decide which way around.)

A Pink Dragon reports:

I have made a knitted tuxedo cat and crocheted cupcake, as requested by (redacted). I recommend that she doesn't actually eat the cupcake, as it is made of inedible substances such as cotton, wool and nylon. Or the cat, but nobody would want to eat cats, would they now? Here is a picture. Yay! Presents!

(redacted) reported thusly:

This beautifully-crocheted fellow arrived on my doorstep some few days past. He claims to be named Bonaparte Blenkins. He has a nefarious look in his eye. He and his cupcake have now taken up residence on the bookshelf next to my computer, and from all reports seem to be quite comfortable.

06/07/09: Rapture in the Moment of Epiphany did some research.

RitMoE sent the director this comment:

This evening I had a chance encounter with another of the puppeteers and some friends, and used the chance to get some quick feedback on the first of my presents. The conclusion was that the form, while indeed beautiful, was significantly complex enough to impair functionality. Steps must be taken to remedy this.

3: 07/07/09: Trimechatrops defeated Stegazoidus in an epic land battle. Nomble sent the Director this evidence of his victory.

David Birch reports:

For my gift this time, I asked my suitors the question "Who would win in a battle between the robosaurs Trimechatrops and Stegazoidus" - and asked them to provide evidence. Nomble has certainly cleared the matter up for me, and now I can stop fretting at night. I'm sure that history won't end up revealing conflicting accounts now, will it?

Nomble reports:

Trimechatrops wins the fight. Because trimechatrops has a *very* large sword. He did have a large ship and a large plane but these sort of got destroyed in EPIC battles with stegazoidus. As such Trimechatrops has been hailed as a great hero across the land. This is one such propaganda poster depicting his victory over stegazoidus in their last great battle.

4: 08/07/09: A pink dragon sent Emma Watts a pirate and a ninja, to fight. To the death. Preferably over cake.

A Pink Dragon reported thusly:

I have made knitted pirate and ninja chibis for Emma, who requested Pirates Vs Ninjas. Rumours that the pirate looks suspiciously like her Maelstrom LARP character are greatly exaggerated. Er.

Here is a picture:

5: 09/07/09: Nomble sent Carrie Beckett (Gracewing) some useful observations of the habits of Firebirds and Dragons.

Gracewing reports:

Sending in my first report as an unexpected parcel arrived this morning via manx post, it was found to contain the most beautiful artwork and story from a Proffessor Nettlebury about the antics of a Dragon and it's Fyrebyrd companion, with interesting anecdotes about Jam Sammiches (which I shall have to bear in mind should I ever meet a Dragon).

I wish I knew who had sent it, so that I can thank you properly should we meet, as the Dragon and Fyrebyrd are so wonderfully perfect and I am extremely touched by the beauty of this gift.

Nomble reports:

Carrie Beckett requested dragons and firebirds... Fortunately I happened upon the charred remains of Professor Nettlebury's Travelling Journal. While most of the pages could not be salvaged and many of those still legible were covered in dragon drool, I did happen upon this one, which seemed quite appropriate.

6: 09/07/09: Nomble sent Noora Horvonen something small, cute, and dangerous.

Nomble reports:

Noora Hirvonen asked for something small, cute, but potentially dangerous. Mice are both small and cute, explosives are potentially dangerous, especially if a small cute mouse is in control of them.

Noora reports:

I received a wonderful and cute drawing about a rat with unhealthy interest in explosives and it made me happy. ^_^ It arrived 17th of July but I was abroad so I saw it the first time last Tuesday.

7: 10/07/09: Helen Walter recieved a gift from Rapture in the Moment of Epiphany

RitMoE reports:

Well, I suppose it counts as something steampunk. This thing underwent extensive planning, aquisition of materials, creation and presentation phases before finally being sent yesterday. Also, I hate drawing circles. Enough of that, here are some pictures:

Helen reports:

Cogimoes! Domicogs! Clearly the most awesome boardgame ever to grace the new house (which is generally suffering from a lack of such things), this absolutely delightful box of wonders features a plethora of hand-drawn, stunningly intricate cogs, colour-coded to make it possible to play any standard Dominos variant, and representing a machine which - presumably - when fully assembled, immanentizes the Eschaton (or possibly just makes a *really good* cup of tea). Thank you, Rapture In The Moment Of Epiphany!

8: 12/07/09: Networker sent Lorenz Mennel a Japanese Frog.

Networker reports:

I have made a Japanese Frog as requested, and sent it in a suitable living-box for frogs. The snail shell included in the box is my second attempt at decorating it with a snail shell - the first empty shell I found turned out to still have a stealth snail in it (after being glued on and left alone for ten minutes) leading to much hilarity trying to unstick it and replace it in the garden unhurt...

9: 13/07/09: A Pink Dragon sent Lucy Chessman something Dionysian.

A Pink Dragon mentions:

For Lucy Cheesman, who requested something Dionysian and also "likes fluffy things", I have made the cutest representation of Dionysus I could manage. Apologies if he's a bit Roman but my Classical education is all a bit Latin...

Here he is, four inches high, cuddly, and with a big wineglass:

10: 13/07/09: Sixth Moon also sent Lucy Chessman something Dionysian.

Sixth Moon reports:

I have sent Lucy Cheesman something Dionysian; a charm of grapes to make all merry. My next move will be to Iceland to gather some steam.

11: 20/07/09: Ellie Schlappa unwittingly unleashed a nightmare.

Deliciouscake reports:

Ellie Schlappa requested, amongst other options, "A serious conscience looking serious." After extensive research and deliberation, I decided she could have mine. But how to lure it out?

Preliminary attempts included:

No luck as yet. I shall keep trying.

12: 21/07/09: Number 55 engaged in some creative interpretation, then unearthed a masterpiece.

Number 55 reports:

Emma W requested "Pirates Verses Ninjas" and thus in the spirit of pedantry I went on a search for an issue of the long-forgotten illustrated poetry book series, The Adventure of Cap'n Stanza. I remembered this series from my youth so tracking down the good Cap'n was a trip through Memory Lane!

Unfortunately it seems that the comics shop on Memory Lane no longer exists (it's now a Starbucks) so I had to search further afield, trying some obscure shops on Nostalgia Street and Recollection Avenue. Finally I was able to get my hands on the issue I was after (which features Ninjas) and it is with great pride that I offer it as a work containing Pirates, Verses, and Ninjas.

13: 21/07/09: Rapture in the Moment of Epiphany sent Lorenz Mennel a box of frogs.

RitMoE reports:

Lorenz asked me for "A Japanese Frog" - so I had originally contemplated drawing a sketch of a frog waving the japanese flag, with a kamikaze headband on, in the style of anime. Possibly with a harbour exploding in the background or something. The more I thought about it, the more I thought a picture would be kind of dull though, so I thought about what things are trully Japanese.

At this point I realised... an origami frog would be perfect for this gift. So I poked around the internet, found my favourite pattern, and folded one up. Of course, this hardly took any time, so I went on to make another one, and another one. Then I made another ninety-eight, and I figured if one frog is cool, 101 frogs must be 101 times as cool. Finally, I realised that this hardly constituted "A Japanese Frog" any more, so I gave them all names. One of them has a Japanese name. I now present Lorenz with A box of Frogs

14: 21/07/09: Rapture in the Moment of Epiphany sent Roisin o'Hare a revision aid.

RitMoE reports:

Dearest Roisin. If you're requesting just a single bad pun, then you must really be searching for material. I think you might need to brush up on your puns, so I've sent you my handy revision aid. It contains a very large number of bad puns, and fits in your pocket too! You never need be without a bad pun again.

15: 24/07/09: Anoun gave Nicholas Avernell something that would keep people away from his head (and city block.)

The Director reports:

From all accounts, it was pretty icky...

Aquarion reports:

I was hiding, one morn, in plain view,when a voice drifted over the dew.
The words that it said,
I remember with dread
"Aquarion? I've something for you."

And a something indeed did she pass,
the Anoun who was sat on the grass
It was green, did not tick
and was made of plastic.
(Because it would have eaten glass)

It was, it explained, a shampoo
that applied would then protect you
from your head caving in,
and filled with tonic and gin,
which was as much as I'd ask it to do.

The front read that it would work.
From its duties not shirk
and this wasn't a prank,
for my gods how it stank.
like a soap bar dissolving in murk.

Soap it contained, as a start.
Soy source, which made it smell tart
Shampoo and Ketchup
paint and rose syrup
all layered and split into parts.

olive brine, lemonade, (just a hint)
sunflower oil, some gravy (for brown tint)
And to make people savour:
some coffee for flavour.
toothpaste and basil and a mint.

(But the strangest thing there of his haul:
when you shook it, and mixed up it all
until the whole scene
was a uniform green
the smell wasn't bad to recall)

16: 27/07/09: Networker made Tom Wilcox cooler.

Networker reports:

I have just finished my final S+P present for this game, a fan to make Tom Wilcox cooler. I will be posting it tomorrow or on Wednesday, depending when it is fully dry. :)

A: 29/07/09: Rosemary Warner sent Megan Williams a bonus present.

Rosie reports:

The Craft Monster is found in the homes of artists, sculptors, seamstresses- indeed, if you have any craft related hobby at all you will be familiar with its habits.

It lurks under beds and tables, picking up small items that you just knew you had five minutes ago or you were sure you bought another packet of last week, and taking them away.

Every time you wonder where all your safety pins go, the Craft Monster is to blame.

This one was caught in the act of stealing a small paintbrush from under Megan Williams' bed to give to its children to play with.

Megan reports:

Early this morning I received a parcel in the post... I opened it to find the scoundrel who's been stealing my art stuff! Not only that but he was in the act of stealing a paintbrush!

So I sat him down and had a frank talk with him over a cup of tea and some biscuits.

(But he's all cute and squishy and pretty coloured so I forgive him)

17: 29/07/09: Deliciouscake sent David Mumford... Something.

Deliciouscake reports:

Mr Mumford requested Power, Responsibility, Robots, and possibly a Walrus. In the end I was only able to locate ONE robot, and it is actually more of a cyborg, but the gentleman who sold it to me assures me that it will be more than enough for Mr Mumford's purposes. He also said something about "terrifying rod power", but I thought it best not to enquire further.

18/19: 30/07/09: Sixth Moon sent Orev Deniker a steampunk eyepiece, and Joss a representation of Jesus riding a dinosaur.

Sixth Moon reports:

I succesfully gathered some rare and wondrous Icelandic steam to work this all-purpose steampunk eyepiece I made for Orev.

Also, a three dimensional representation of jesus riding a dinosaur, as requested by Joss.

Both of these have now been sent!

20/21: 31/07/09: Susan Scott caught some creatures in the garden for Noora Hirvonen and Andre (Dre) Tcherepnine

Susan Scott reports:

I would like to report that I have captured two creatures to send on to two of my targets, and I hope they settle well. Firstly, Dre asked for something "Dark and Beautiful", and I have convinced the protector of my Deadly Nightshade, Sehket to fulfill this role.

Noora, on the other hand, asked for something "Small and Dangerous", and in my garden there is nothing more dangerous than one of the Lily Faeries, especially when they're in a bad mood. I am still nursing the pink-and-orange welts where she smacked me, but the Faerie Willowbane to travel the great distance.

I have but one more gift to send, and it shall be difficult to track down a creature suitable. But I hope that these two at least shall find their way safely. I have sent two photos with this letter so that others may see these creatures, getting them to stay still was a task in itself!

11 continued: 01/08/09: Deliciouscake continued to rampage.

Deliciouscake reports:

A few minutes of leering threateningly at a kitty cat did the trick. Quick as a flash I whipped out my patented Device for Trapping Small Thingies, also known as a glass, and caught him!

But I wasn't going to stop there. Through the application of several deadly ninja interrogation techniques, I managed to obtain the whereabouts of two of his fellow conspirators- an annoying little angel and devil who turn up occasionally on my shoulder and try to prevent me from doing fun things. One swift capture mission later and the prisoners were secured, and on their way to Ms Ellie, and I am finally freed from the burden of a conscience. BUAHAHA! BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


22/23: 02/08/09: Lenny Jenkins sent Roisin o'Hare a bad pun and Emma Watts a catfight.

Lenny Jenkins reports:

I have sent a bad (really stupid) pun for Roisin and a pic of pirate vs. ninja (cat)fight for Emma as was requested. I put them on mail last Wednesday, I hope they arrive soon unless already there.

24 02/08/09: Deliciouscake began some archaeology.

Deliciouscake reports:

Returned from expedition to site of final Mechasaur battle two days ago. Couldn't go any further, after what I found. My god! The age-old terrors that lurk in the underground of the present day-- the eldritch current of horrors that runs beneath all things-- can barely think about it without breaking out in shudders.

Can't bring myself to touch the manuscript yet. I know the papers need to be put in order, and that slimy-- whatever it is-- wiped off the remains of that poor explorer's monocle... but I don't have the strength. Not now. Will try again in the morning. If I can.

But those things- moving in the darkness ahead- oh Heaven preserve me!

25: 12/10/09: Splenectomy sent Helen Walter a photo frame.

Helen reports:

Arriving at my desk the day before I was made redundant, a handcrafted cog-encrusted papier-mache photo frame! Just the thing to store my snaps of the latest Zeppelin Masqued Ball, exhibition of the Royal Phlogiston Society, or Clockwork Quartet gig. Sturdy and useful, it now has pride of place atop the dining room bookshelf! Many thanks to Splenectomy.

B: 23/10/09: The Bonus Angel sent Mika Metsätähti a Harlequin.

The Bonus Angel reports:

I have just sent a harlequin puppet to Mika.

Mika Metsätähti reports:

Even as the game had came to an end, I found myself still wishing for a single Harlequine. Little did I know that a Socks and Puppets Bonus Angel heard my silent wish! Today I found a mysterious letter waiting for me, and inside was a brilliant, many-coloured hand puppet. Thank you, Bonus Angel! You made me very happy.

22/12/09: The Director declared the game closed.

26: 28/01/09: Someone told the director that they had sent a present, but nobody had told him about it.

The Director reports:

I can't remember who it was though.

27: 19/01/09: Aquarion send Rosemary Warner something green.

Aquarion reports:

Because once upon a time there was a deadline.

It was a nice deadline, and it was comfortably far away beyond the fields we knew, and could therefore safely be ignored. So I ignored it, and felt good about ignoring a deadline.

And the fields we knew were sewn with the future, and it as grew and the line grew closer, but we didn't notice the approaching deadline, for it was covered by the future.

One day we looked around, and the deadline was close, so very close that with a sufficiently long and pointy stick we could touch the deadline and call it our own. It was a friendly deadline, and it was in front of us, and so we looked at it.

The deadline told us that we had a matter of a few days to create a series of three gifts for people. It pointed out that we had received gifts and that this was good, and that it would be only fair and just to create a gift. You could, it suggested, draw something.

So I drew something. The thing I drew was not drawn well, because I cannot draw well. It was made out of stick figures and felt tip pen, and told the story of a little non-green man.

In the balance of socks and puppets, it was not a good present. It was badly made, for starters. However, a bad present is better than none at all, and so I made it. I went for the sympathy vote.

I made it. I placed in a folder of careful construction, and I made a note to post it.

And then I posted it!

Well, I didn't, but I thought about it.

And I didn't have any stamps.

And then I didn't have any envelopes.

Then I lost my stamps.

And it was raining.

And then I forgot.

The deadline passed without a backwards glance, devoting the cold shoulder to my every endeavour, and drifted off into the future where I watched it go.

The days were light, for a while, and I forgot to post the letter because it was too sunny.

Then the days were dim and dusk came early, and wind prevented my remembrance of the letter.

Then snow.

More rain.

And dark of night. The letter languished longingly. The pictures crying out for delivery from beyond their plastic prison, until the new year came, and with it a shiny new opertunity to start the year as I meant to go on.

And I handed the folder to Rosemary saying "This is your Socks and Puppets gift. Sorry it's late".

It was January 8th.

The last update was on the 19th January 2010.
The director believed that something like 27+2/66+2 presents were sent. Oh well, not a terrible haul.
Five players sent all three gifts.